Bereavement is the state of loss we experience when someone close to us has died.
The death of any loved one is a traumatic event that can occur at any time in our lives.
People’s response will vary as they go through the grieving process.
Mourning is a vital part of bereavement.
Everyone copes in their own way and bereavement is the time we spend adjusting to the loss, accepting what happened, learning to adjust to a new way of life without that person and keeping their memory alive as best you can.
Grief is the response to the loss of someone or some living thing such as a pet that has died, to whom we have a strong bond and affection for.
Grief is a normal response where there is no set pattern to how we reaction or how we deal with it. Most people will go through grief at some point in their lives. There is no right or wrong way to feel emotionally following a loss, making it an individual process.
Grief can cause many different emotions including
Sadness – An emotion felt on many levels as you come to terms with a loss.
Depression – Can be brought on or triggered by the realisation and acknowledgement of a loss, the memories from the past and feelings of isolation.
Numbness – Feeling numb after a loss is a natural statewhich helps us to process what has happened at a rate that we can cope with. Numbness stops all the feelings associated with grief, before we are ready to manage them. A temporary state although occasional if numbness is the only emotion we feel over a period of time, it causes a person to feel ‘stuck’.
Anger or Frustration – You may want to find someone or something to blame as you try to make sense of a death. Losing a loved one is painful whether the death is sudden or not, expected or unexpected.
Shock – Is a natural reaction that emotionally protects us from pain and stops us from being overwhelmed.
Denial or Disbelief – Our minds will try to protect us following a loss that is hard to comprehend or believe.
Panic – We can experience a sense of loss of identity if the death leaves a void in our lives.
Confusion – Not sure what decisions to make and wondering what to do next can leave us confused and feeling that nothing makes sense.
Overwhelmed – Immediate, intense emotional feelings can feel like you are not coping and not able to live with them. Time will gradually reduce the feelings of grief so they become less intense and feel more manageable as people find ways to live with them.
Relief – Especially after a long illness, if the person was in pain or you were in a close relationship as a partner or carer. Feelings of relief does not mean you did not care or did not love the person.
The 5 stages of Grief
Denial
Anger
Depression
Bargaining
Acceptance
It can be hard to adjust to the changes that happen after bereavement. Grief can change your sense of normality, your routines and your values and beliefs.
Although normal, grief can manifest itself in unexpected ways that make it hard for us to cope such as out of control rages, withdrawing from society, becoming withdrawn into ourselves and feeling completely numb to daily life.
Keeping all of our emotions inside and bottled up or being in denial can prolong your pain and suffering.
All loss has to be acknowledged for us to be able to move forward.
Allow your mind and body time to grieve and process all that is happening to you, as you ride on waves of complicated emotions.
By looking at this page you have already taken the first step to find a place in your life for your loss and eventually finding acceptance.
There is no set pattern to the common stages of grief you could experience.
If you find yourself struggling with your feelings and emotions, stuck within the five stages of grief or just need support through the stages, I can help you experience good grief.
We will always work at a pace that is comfortable, appropriate and safe for you.
Best wishes, Kirsty
Testimonial
“I did not want to accept my friend committed suicide but with Kirsty’s help I now know I could not have changed what happened and am learning to move on.“
G March 2021
